Filthy Shades of Grey

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As I was watching a TV talk show this past week, I heard them going on and on about a movie that was going to be produced in the coming year. It was going to be a screen adaptation the book, Fifty Shades of Grey. Wow, a movie that has all these people so enamored was due a little investigation as to why they were so excited. So, I got out my handy iPad and found out was this book was all about:

First, it was a New York Times, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble best seller.

Second, it was a romance novel.

Third, it was fan fiction based on the Twilight series

Fourth, lots of "moms" we're reading it

Fifth, it is considered pornographic.

It was that last statement that got my mental gears going. Is that just a preacher's opinion, or is that what the news media and society is saying? Are mommies really reading this? What could possibly be so scintillating that is on so many ladies' summer reading list?

After a few quick clicks, I found out that is about a newly graduated, young, virginal college student who submits herself to the BDSM desires of a multi-billionaire. Well, enough what I found here's how the papers describe it:

Mr Grey, a 27-year-old billionaire, seduces young graduate, Anastasia Steele. He has a penchant for bondage and soon envelops her in a world of kinky sex, S&M and XXX-rated bedroom 'contract' games that make for solid post-watershed reading only (Daily Mail, UK edition)

Obviously, even by a worldly standard, not for the faint of heart.

It once again affirmed my belief that the world is taking steps and going down paths we were never meant to trod as a society. But, as much as I love our country and want to see us return to the Judeo-Christian ethic, it is not why I am so burdened by the popularity of this sexually explicit romance novel, in particular, and modern romance novels, in general.

As Christians (that means we are "little Christs"), we are called to move from conforming to what's popular to being transformed into the likeness of Christ. Yet, I have overheard believers in Jesus talking about reading this book. While I don't believe modern, steamy romance novels have a place in a Christian's library, Fifty Shades of Grey certainly has no place in our libraries, Kindles, or minds. This is nothing but mental pornography targeted at women who are bored with their current relationships. They are simply titillating their imaginations with pornographic, explicit images that should have no place in their minds.

It is my belief that many of the newest steamy romance novels are nothing more than women's pornography. These novels approach the woman's imagination in the same way a pornographic magazine tantalizes a man's eyes. Both are equally wrong. But, is it really wrong to have a little dreamy fantasy life about other men or women? You know, to spice up your marriage? Well, I have an opinion, but I don't think I care about my opinion, so I'd like to hear what Jesus has to say:

You know the next commandment pretty well, too: 'Don't go to bed with another's spouse.' But don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt. (Matthew 5:27-28, MSG)

Jesus is explaining to us that mental adultery = adultery. Now, realize this, Jesus wasn't trying to ruin our fun, He is actually making life worth enjoyable. He understood what it is that frees us and what it is that puts us in bondage: it is what our minds and our hearts think about. King David's sin of adultery began much sooner than the first time he crawled under the covers with Uriah's wife (See 2 Samuel 11 for the whole story). It is no different for us, and Jesus knows that. Our hearts must be protected because out of it flows the source of life (Proverbs 4:23). It is truly a battle for our hearts and minds and believers in Christ should not participate or even speak about the deeds of darkness done in secret. Here's a verse that can really help you make decisions as to what you should watch, read, or speak about:

Don’t participate in the fruitless works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what is done by them in secret. (Ephesians 5:11-12, HCSB)

If we shouldn't mention these acts, surely we shouldn't read or watch or listen to such things. Don't you think?

So, how do we judge what to put into our minds? As followers of Christ, is there are way we can determine what we should be feeding on mentally in order to remain pure? It's actually quite simple. The world that we live in has changed little from the first century. Mankind has always degenerated to the lowest common denominator. So, the Spirit of God gave us this litmus test:

whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable-if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise-dwell on these things. (Philippians 4:8, HCSB)

So, how do you test on this exam? Are you making an "A"? Or is it something far less? It is time we all examine our lives and see where we can change what we are placing into our heart, our minds, and our very lives. Christ-followers, let's be the men and women we know we can be in Jesus. Let's let His purity reign. Put down Fifty Shades of Grey as well as other morally reprehensible reading material, and pick up the pure white character of Christ found in His Word, the Bible.

Come on Christians, we're better than this.

Pastor Trey Rhodes

www.MyOceansideChurch.com

MyOceansideChurch.podbean.com

OCAnnounce.info.com

Serving Our Supernatural God Miraculously

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Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. James 5:13

There are so many people hurting in our world today. The good news/scary news is (depending on how you feel that day), God wants you and me to be a miracle in their lives. For that to happen, we must be open to others as we listen for God's nudges. Most people have experienced one, or at the most, two miracles in their lives. I know in my life, God all but raised me from the dead after experiencing a dissected aorta. But, I have to ask myself is that the only miracle I can point to since I became a follower of Christ, or is there more God wants to do through me?

Our small group is studying a book and video by noted Christian author, Bruce Wilkinson. The book is titled: You Were Born for This: Seven Keys to a Life of Predictable Miracles. The gist is that while God wants us to minister in His name, He expects us to allow His supernatural power to flow through us in order to touch lives around us. He calls these, "Everyday Miracles." At the end of our first session, we asked the group to be open to God using them, look at people around them, and listen in their minds and hearts for God's nudges. We  then prayed for each other to be used this upcoming week.

Monday is my day off. But, as all pastors know, that simply means you are on call. It doesn't surprise me when something comes up to take care of. The difference this Monday was I was actually expecting something to happen so I could be the supernatural conduit of God in someone's life. I didn't have to wait for long. My phone rang and a lady in our church and my small group said that her husband was having chest pains. We immediately prayed for him and her. I got up, showered, dressed, shaved, and got out of the house to get to the hospital. Once I was there, I waited, then searched, and then finally found them in an examining room thanks to a nurse's directions. Here I was, I thought, already being a supernatural conduit in a life. I was thankful. But God wasn't finished yet.

After we prayed and asked God to work in this man's life, I left them to get their things together. They were going to check out after having a good EKG. There were some problems, but not near what we thought. Thank you, Lord! So, I left the room, walked into the hall, and nearly bumped into a security guard. I had noticed a "segway" type scooter on the way in, so in that awkward moment, I asked if I she got to ride it much. She said she did and that was that. I walked out of the hospital on on towards the van. Just as I was reaching the van, I felt one of those nudges. If you've ever had one, at first you just think it's you. Regardless, this is what I heard (no, not audible...much louder than that!), "Ask her if she needs help." I didn't say yes or no, I just kept walking. Then it hit me again. This time I knew it was the Lord. So I spun around and looked to see if she was still there. She was. The next thought that came to me was, "I'll never reach her before she goes back inside to her station." But she just stood there and waited...for me? It sure seemed like it.

Finally, I reached her and asked, "This might sound strange to you, but is there anyway I can help you?" She looked at me wide-eyed and didn't answer. So I introduced myself and asked again if there was anyway I could help. She then said, you can pray for me. I said gladly. The lady and man I had gone to be with then walked out the door, so I called them over to pray with us. There in that parking lot, we met God. That asphalt became holy ground. Truly in that moment, heaven met earth. As we finished praying, the security guard looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, "How did you know I needed someone to pray for me?" My answer, I didn't but God did. She was so grateful that someone cared enough to pray for her in a desperate time of need.

Followers of Christ, God wants to use you. You don't have to be a pastor or a missionary. You don't have to take a trip in a time machine to go back to the first century. God wants to use you in 21st century America. God is waiting. Listen for His nudges and be aware of hurting people all around you who need a supernatural touch from God. He wants to, they are there, and you are His miracle providing servant.

Therefore, get your minds ready for action, being self-disciplined, and set your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:13 (HCSB)

Ready to serve, 
Pastor Trey Rhodes

www.MyOceansideChurch.com

MyOceansideChurch.podbean.com

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Perfect Rice Everytime

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When it comes to cooking rice, there are a lot of ways to do it. Some start from scratch, use the back of the bag instructions, and boil their rice. Problem is it can be pretty sticky and gooey at times. Some of you have perfected your own way to cook rice, so I encourage you to keep on doing it the way it works for you.

For me, cooking rice was a great mystery. I either made it a sticky mess, or I ended up burning the bottom and ruining my wife's nice pots. That was when we heard about this gadget called a rice steamer. It was when we lived in Eutawville, SC. All my years as a rice eater and I had never used or even seen one used to cook rice. The unusual thing about that was that in Charleston, it was said that most of us have much in common with the Chinese, in particular that we ate rice and worshipped our ancestors. So, it was strange that I had never been touched by this marvelous way of cooking rice that gives a consistent, wonderfully textured, and delicious bowl of rice every time.

First, you must have a Charleston Rice Steamer. They are available, but you've got to look. Here's a store I know has them. Use this link: rice cooker. They can be a little pricey, but will last you for many, many years. As an alternative, there are also electric rice cookers everywhere. But, this article does not claim anything about those monstrosities. 

This is what the rice cooker looks like. Who knows, you might see one at a yard sale and pick it up for little of nothing. They are also good for steaming vegetables. And for those of us who are Alton Brown fans, you always want to be able to multi-task your cooking utensils.

The Recipe:

• 2 cups of rice
• 2 cups of water
• Scant salt
• Butter or oil

The Cooking:

• Fill bottom of the rice steamer pot with enough water to touch the steamer insert.
• Pour rice into steamer insert
• Pour water into steamer insert
• Add salt to taste
• Add tsp of oil or pad of butter
• Stir quickly
• Turn burner to high

Once steamer begins to steam, turn down to medium heat

Warning: Be sure and check the bottom pan for water. It can completely steam away on you if you leave it on for a long time at high. I recommend you check the lower pot after 25 minutes by lifting the insert with oven mits (it will be HOT) and seeing how much water is left. My wife has perfected swishing the pot and being able to tell if there's water in it. That will come with experience. If necessary, because the water has boiled low or even away, add more water to bottom pan and continue cooking rice.

Cook for 25 to 30 minutes total time.

Use fork and pull up rice then you can let sit or serve as is or use in any recipe.

• Pro Tip 1: Cook as little rice as you would like by adjusting the amounts of ingredients and the cooking time. Use 1:1 as your water to rice ratio. Also I have found that you can cook up to 3 cups of rice in this rice steamer. That will feed a lot of people.
• Pro Tip 2: Rice freezes great and can be placed in a ziplock type bag and saved for later use if not all eaten. I often save for Chinese fried rice recipes and Indian curry recipes that I will be sharing with you later.

Remember, God created all good things for us to enjoy,

Trey Rhodes

You might want to try these other simple recipes as well:

Easy cook roast

Easy Omelet

Attached or Invested? Extreme Child Rearing

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When it comes to being a mom, we are often presented with 2 conflicting viewpoints. The first is the model of feminism. This concept is best expressed by women such as Alice Walker, the author of The Color Purple. Although revered by her adoring fans and ladies around the world as a mother figure, her daughter, Rebecca Walker describes her relationship with Alice Walker as anything but a mother. Just recently, Rebecca's young son ran up to her and cried out for his mommy and Rebecca was there to greet him. After that moment, she shared her opinion from being raised in a feminist home:

"The truth is that I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother - thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman." She continues, "You see my mum (sic) taught me that children enslave women. I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale." (For more on this eye-opening expose on the feminist movement, go to this article)

The other extreme is found in the view espoused by William Sears and is known by the moniker, "attachment parenting." According to the article I read in the Christian Science Monitor which was written to respond to the current TIME magazine cover, this is the kind of parenting that defines these kinds of moms as:

"moms who breastfeed their children through toddlerhood, who eschew date nights in favor of nursing, who never leave their children (ever), and who happily give the marital bed over to the baby." Accordingly, that means that an attachment mom is defined as someone who is, "baby wearing (no bouncy seats or strollers here - baby goes in a sling next to mom), breastfeeding (as long as possible), and co-sleeping (baby in bed)" mother.

Now, some might refer to these women as moms, but it seems to me that it would be better to refer to them at the worst end of the spectrum as "divorced" or at the best end of the spectrum as a "one child parent." Just food for thought when one considers how incredibly impractical this parenting method is. Although Sears describes this as the norm in other cultures, I beg to differ. Having lived in a third world country for some years, children are brought into the home rapidly and with very little consideration for their well-being. More children equals more opportunities to be supported in old age. This only reflects how encapsulated he is in our affluent, first world lifestyle.

So, are these two extremes what we should choose from? Is there another, better way? Yes there is. It's called traditional child rearing. This has been what has built our civilization for 3000 plus years. It is the Judeo-Christian model and it works EVERY TIME it is tried. Here is that model for you ladies:

First - Be a godly woman. Love Christ as your first priority. Show that by talking to him in prayer every day as you begin your day. "as is proper for women who affirm that they worship God." 1 Timothy 2:10

Second - Be a wife to your husband. This is where the attached parent model completely breaks down. Your relationship to your child is not your defining nor your most important relationship. Your husband is. Read Ephesians 5 if you doubt me. The best thing a parent can do for her child is love his or her spouse. "encourage the young women to love their husbands" Titus 2:4

Third - Be a parent to your child. You are to take care of your child and make a difference in their life. But, let me remind you, you are not their friend or their spouse, you are their parent. As the Bible shares, women are to "love their children" Titus 2:4

Fourth - Be a sister and daughter to your extended family. That means that you do develop those relationships and take the time to make them work and thrive, but they are not your first, second, or even third priority. For more on this, you might want to read Elizabeth George, A Woman after God's Own Heart. For more on a daughter-in-law's relationship, READ Ruth 1 and examine Ruth's devotion to the mother of her husband.

Life for you women is a great balancing act. It amazes me that you can move between your roles so easily and fluidly. You can be a mother one moment and a lover the next. You can then transform into friend or a partner when the moment calls for it. You are special and are the pinnacle of God's creation (I say this with great respect and a lump in my throat). Be all that God called you to be and never sell yourself short. You are highly favored.

Pastor Trey Rhodes




For more on...

Motherhood listen to the latest message on Oceanside's Podcast: Lover, Mother, Partner, Friend.

What's happening at Oceanside, go to: www.OCAnnounce.info

Oceanside Church with directions and service times, go to: www.MyOceansideChurch.com

Going Somewhere? Disciple Your Children

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Jesus...said to them, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:18-20 HCSB)

Other than John 3:16, these verses are probably the most spoken verses in any of our churches. They have been used for the revival sermons, Sunday morning sermons, and certainly in our Sunday School lessons. But, sometimes I think we have missed the point of this overarching command of the Lord Jesus.

The actual understanding of this verse is not "go ye therefore," but as you are going, make disciples. Does that make sense? You see, that changes everything. It means that wherever we go, whatever we do, whoever we're with, we are to...wait for it... wait for it... MAKE DISCIPLES.

This is a game changer. It means that when we are at work, we are looking to make disciples. When we are at play, we are looking to make disciples. When we are with our family, our goal is to make disciples.

The importance of this verse is when you look at what the Bible says about our children, our wives, our husbands, those who are in our family, doesn't it make sense that our goal is to make disciples of them? What I mean is, if Matthew 28:18-20 is the Great Commission, then we must make disciples even with our family. I am using "even" as a word to describe how important it is that we disciple our families. It is a priority.

You see, this is what is called the "integration" of the Gospel into our everyday lives. The gospel is not only something that we teach on Sunday morning, preach at revival, or what we share do on visitation on Tuesday night. It becomes our life.

Here then is my point: the gospel is much more like Deuteronomy 6 than it is our modern 21st century idea of sharing the gospel or making a disciple in a church classroom somewhere. When the Word of God tells us that wherever we go, it means that. The example given in Deuteronomy 6 is this: when we go with our children on the road (our cars), sit down (at the dinner table), or when we lie down (put them to bed at night), we disciple them. It's what we shared a few weeks ago in our sermon and blog in what we called "God talk".

But, isn't it just more than talk? Sure it is. It means that not only does our speech reflect Jesus Christ living in us, it also means that our lives reflect Jesus Christ living in us. That is where true disciples are made. It is when our lives back up our speech. That is how we make disciples.

Now, read this with me:

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won't become discouraged. (Colossians 3:21 HCSB)

So, when you read this verse keeping in mind that we are to make disciples of our children, it makes sense that we shouldn't make them angry and frustrated with us. This is what the Bible terms as "exasperate" them. Why don't we do that? Because we are making them disciples. It is much more important that our children become disciples than it is we raise them to make us happy, or to give them a great place on the soccer team, or to make sure they get first chair in the orchestra. Truth be told, we are placing our emphasis on all the wrong things. Our children's eternal decision to recieve eternal life is to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. That is so much more important, infinitely more important, than any extra-curricular activity that we could get them into after school. Compared to discipleship, aren't those things rather silly?

As parents, you and I are building disciples for the kingdom of God. As important as it might seem right now, getting A's is not near is important as making a disciple. As critical as it might seem right now that your child become a great baseball player, it is much more important that we teach our children to be disciples than to catch a fastball. Can these activities help us make disciples? Of course they can. But it's more about spending time with them for the purpose of discipleship, not about forming a new skill for them to be good at. Really, your child wants you and your time, not the accolades and trophies.

So, how 'bout it? Are you ready to become a disciple-making parent? Are you ready to change the way you think about your children? You can start today with these resources: Simple memory verses & Building families.

Let's start a movement together. Let's be those disciple-making parents.

Pastor Trey Rhodes

For more help check out this Sermon Series:

Life Skills: Building Family

www.MyOceansideChurch.com

www.OCAnnounce.info

Becoming a Parent that Disciples

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I thought it would be good to take a look at the steps we can take to get started on the road to better parenting. God wants so much for our children to grow up and be all they can be. So much of that begins at an early age. I've always said that we're fooling ourselves if we can't break our child's will when they are 2 and then think we will be able to deal with them when they are 12. As difficult as it is, we must break their will (not their spirit) when they are young. My children can attest to what it takes...great love, great discipline, and TIME. I love my children greatly but never backed away from the hard part of parenting, discipline.

I also like how John Rosemond uses a much more biblical word for who we are to be to them: disciplers. Our responsibility is to disciple our children. What could happen to the church if we changed from being child raisers to become child disciplers. Now, that's powerful. When we choose to live as disciplers,  it's as much work on me as it is for them.

Here's some great ways to start the process:

1. Teach Christian values. As parents we need to identify, live, and communicate our values. If we value truth and honesty, we must be honest and adhere to biblical standards. We need to believe and teach our teens that the only truth in the world that matters is in the Scriptures. You are deceived, because you don’t know the Scriptures or the power of God (Matt. 22:29).

2. Express love and acceptance of our children. Even when their behavior disappoints us, we must continue to let them know that we love them. Genuine love for our children will grow out of our awareness that we are genuinely loved by God. It’s not always easy, but unconditional love is necessary. We also need to teach our children about God’s love. God’s love is solid and secure. He adopted us into His family, and He knows our needs and will provide them. Your teens need to know and accept these truths.

3. Be consistent with discipline. Our goal is that our children will ultimately become self-disciplined and self-controlled. If discipline does not eventually become internal, no amount of outside pressure to conform will make a teenager a spiritually healthy person.

4. Pray continually for and about our children. God is more concerned for them than we possibly can be, so He welcomes our conversations with Him about them. With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints (Eph. 6:18).

5. Worship together as a family. Participating in regular worship, both corporately and personally, will move us all toward spiritual health. Again, I cannot hope that my child will grow to be a faithful worshiper of the Lord if I refuse to do so myself. Let worship become a lifestyle for you, and your teens will likely catch it from you. Also, remember that personal and family worship are important as well.

6. Be active participants in the work of the church. Remember to balance your time with your family and in your church activities; but, again, if you want your youth to participate in church activities, you must do the same. Dropping them off at youth or children's activities will not teach them to be faithful church members.

7. Participate in ministries that are designed for you as a parent. Not every church does this, but when a seminar or class is offered to help parents be better at their jobs, be sure to go. It will communicate volumes to your teen when they see that you are trying to improve in your parenting skills. 

In addition to these great thoughts, you might want to resource my article, Building a Family.

Pastor Trey Rhodes


For a GREAT MESSAGE on being the parent God wants you to be listen to 

• OC's podcast: Parenthood: the Parent's Priority. This is 39 minutes that will change both your life and your family!
• Want to know what's going on at Oceanside Church? www.OCAnnounce.info
• www.MyOceansideChurch.com

Easy Cook Roast

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So glad all of you enjoyed reading the Omlette blog last week. I got lots and lots of hits and thank you for caring to look. Hope many of you tried it out and enjoyed the recipe.

This week I want to teach you how to cook a pork roast or a beef roast very simply, and you can simply choose which one you want to cook. It's really up to you and what taste you have for the meal that your cooking.

First I want to recommend the cuts of meat you need to cook a roast. I like to choose either the Boston but cut for the pork. Or if you would rather use beef, I like a good chuck roast. The cut you get with bone in will be more tender than a cut without the bone when it comes to choosing a cut of beef. I like to wait until there is a sale on the cuts that I like, and then I go to the store and purchase them. I would recommend either a Doscher's (IGA) store or a Sam's Club to get your meat. Otherwise, feel free to get your meat anywhere you would like.

Once your cut of meat has been chosen, then you want to either use it, or put in the freezer for later. This instruction starts assuming you have a fresh or thawed cut of meat.

Let's begin:

I cook a roast in a crockpot. Now, some of you are probably going to say that the only way to cook a good pot roast is in the oven or in a pot. If that's what you want today, then this recipe is probably not for you. So, I recommend a crockpot. Usually a 6 quart crockpot will work fine.

Once you get your crockpot, take ypur roast and place it in the crockpot with 1 cup of water. Then begin to put the ingredients in. Here's what I would recommend...

Pork roast:

• Meat tenderizer
• MSG
• salt
• pepper
• onions

For a beef roast, you might want to add:

• celery
• carrots
• potatoes

Sprinkle the meat tenderizer, the MSG, the pepper, and any salt you would like over the roast. Recognize that MSG and meat tenderizer already have sodium in them. So, be careful with the salt.

Once you cut up your vegetables and place them in the crockpot over the meat you are through. I'm not joking when I say that you can have a roast from start to finish, as far as the preparation is concerned,in 5 to, at the most, 10 minutes.

Once you're finished with the preparation, the cooking begins. If you would like your roast cooked in 4 to 5 hours, put your crockpot on high. If you would like to cook your roast overnight and eat for lunch the next day, say on Sunday after church, put it on low. Or if you would like to start your roast in the morning before you go to work and let it cook all day until you get home, put it on low as well.

Your family will love you once they taste it. You will be the talk of the town. It's hard to believe that it's this easy, but it is. Enjoy, and let me know how your recipe turns out.

If you have any pork roast left over, you might want to save it. The way I would recommend is to put it in a Ziploc freezer bag, and place it in the freezer. It will remain that way for a week, two weeks, even a month or two. We are saving it to use it for all kinds of recipes that we will be giving you in the future.

Remember, God created all these things for us to enjoy.

Trey Rhodes

P.S. 

• My wife tells me that the best part of the recipe is that you can start with a solid frozen piece of meat and instead of low, cook it on high for 8 to 10 hours using the same recipe. 
• She also wants you to know if you cook a smaller beef roast, the cooking times are greatly reduced. She says she usually only cooks a 2 1/2 to 3 lb. beef roast.