Becoming a Parent that Disciples

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I thought it would be good to take a look at the steps we can take to get started on the road to better parenting. God wants so much for our children to grow up and be all they can be. So much of that begins at an early age. I've always said that we're fooling ourselves if we can't break our child's will when they are 2 and then think we will be able to deal with them when they are 12. As difficult as it is, we must break their will (not their spirit) when they are young. My children can attest to what it takes...great love, great discipline, and TIME. I love my children greatly but never backed away from the hard part of parenting, discipline.

I also like how John Rosemond uses a much more biblical word for who we are to be to them: disciplers. Our responsibility is to disciple our children. What could happen to the church if we changed from being child raisers to become child disciplers. Now, that's powerful. When we choose to live as disciplers,  it's as much work on me as it is for them.

Here's some great ways to start the process:

1. Teach Christian values. As parents we need to identify, live, and communicate our values. If we value truth and honesty, we must be honest and adhere to biblical standards. We need to believe and teach our teens that the only truth in the world that matters is in the Scriptures. You are deceived, because you don’t know the Scriptures or the power of God (Matt. 22:29).

2. Express love and acceptance of our children. Even when their behavior disappoints us, we must continue to let them know that we love them. Genuine love for our children will grow out of our awareness that we are genuinely loved by God. It’s not always easy, but unconditional love is necessary. We also need to teach our children about God’s love. God’s love is solid and secure. He adopted us into His family, and He knows our needs and will provide them. Your teens need to know and accept these truths.

3. Be consistent with discipline. Our goal is that our children will ultimately become self-disciplined and self-controlled. If discipline does not eventually become internal, no amount of outside pressure to conform will make a teenager a spiritually healthy person.

4. Pray continually for and about our children. God is more concerned for them than we possibly can be, so He welcomes our conversations with Him about them. With every prayer and request, pray at all times in the Spirit, and stay alert in this, with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints (Eph. 6:18).

5. Worship together as a family. Participating in regular worship, both corporately and personally, will move us all toward spiritual health. Again, I cannot hope that my child will grow to be a faithful worshiper of the Lord if I refuse to do so myself. Let worship become a lifestyle for you, and your teens will likely catch it from you. Also, remember that personal and family worship are important as well.

6. Be active participants in the work of the church. Remember to balance your time with your family and in your church activities; but, again, if you want your youth to participate in church activities, you must do the same. Dropping them off at youth or children's activities will not teach them to be faithful church members.

7. Participate in ministries that are designed for you as a parent. Not every church does this, but when a seminar or class is offered to help parents be better at their jobs, be sure to go. It will communicate volumes to your teen when they see that you are trying to improve in your parenting skills. 

In addition to these great thoughts, you might want to resource my article, Building a Family.

Pastor Trey Rhodes


For a GREAT MESSAGE on being the parent God wants you to be listen to 

• OC's podcast: Parenthood: the Parent's Priority. This is 39 minutes that will change both your life and your family!
• Want to know what's going on at Oceanside Church? www.OCAnnounce.info
• www.MyOceansideChurch.com

It's All about What You Have

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Possessions are a good thing. Most of us like to have stuff. The problem comes in when we like stuff more than people and our Lord. Note that Jesus never said that money is the root of all evil. He said the love of money is the root of all evil. So, there is to be a balance in most of our lives. I think one philosopher once said, we are to love people and use things; we should never love things and use people. Whether we are keeping up with the Jones's or keeping up with our mortgage payments, we can all fall into the trap of working to get, so we can work, so we can get, so we can work...and the vicious cycle goes on. I have to ask...is that what life is all about?

Yet, there are some incredible things that every Christ-follower possesses. Not because we deserve it or worked for it, but because our God gave each of these wonderful, luxurious items that help us make it in a world where we can feel unwanted. What are these incredible gifts? Let's go to 1 Peter 1:8-12.

The first luxury item
1. We Are Given the Opportunity to Worship Jesus, 1 Peter 1:8-9
You love Him, though you have not seen Him. And though not seeing Him now, you believe in Him and rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls
To us, we think of worship as a time and place we go to church. But it is so much more. It is experiencing God. When we worship God, there is a connect that creates in us a passion and pleasure found only in God. It is true love and pure joy.
We should relish every moment we can spend time worshipping our Lord and God. When you truly worship Him, you will never be the same.

The second luxury item
2. We Are Given the Full Understanding of Christ, 1 Peter 1:10-12a
Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that would come to you searched and carefully investigated. They inquired into what time or what circumstances the Spirit of Christ within them was indicating when He testified in advance to the messianic sufferings and the glories that would follow. It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you.
The prophets longed to know what you can be fully aware of. What they saw in their prophecies were the mountain peaks. We see all of Jesus and know who He is and what He did. That is a gift that so many longed for for so many years. Now that is available to you. We know all that God wanted us to know about His Son, Jesus. We know it because it is in that wonderful, supernatural book, the Bible.

Are you getting to know the God of the Bible? Take time to study this week. Use a pen or pencil. Jot down what you are learning or what God is saying to you. Some of you use the margins of your Bible. Some of you use a journal. Whatever you use, write it down. Another simple way to study is to use the cross references your Bible has built into it. Study is how we can begin to understand what God is up to. That is something the prophets tried to do, but we never successful at. That kind of knowledge is yours for the reaping.

The third luxury item
3. We are Given More Access than the Angels, 1 Peter 1:12a
These things have now been announced to you through those who preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Angels desire to look into these things.
Doesn't say that the angels will look into these things...but that they want to. We have access directly to the Father because the Son lives in us. The angels cannot boast that kind of privilege, therefore they cannot have that kind of access. The Psalmist wrote that were created a little lower than the angels. However, that was 1000 years before the resurrection of Jesus. We have more than even the angels have. They long to know and experience what we have been freely given. 1 Corinthians 4:9 tells us, "We have become a spectacle to the world and to angels." They can only experience redemption through what they see in us.

Our access to God is made possible through the Son living in us. Avail yourself of that kind of incredible access to God as you boldly approach His throne. Pray this week to your heavenly Father. He so wants you to access Him. He is available to you.

You see, through Jesus Christ, we are not only aware of these things. We possess and are possessed by these things. That's what you as a Christ-follower have. Lay hold of all that God has given you.


Thinkin' 'Bout Oceanside

-I am excited about the upcoming block party at Seagull. How can you best be involved? We need greeters, people that will head up games, people that can sign up our guests, chefs, and anyone who has a servant's heart. We want those people to see Jesus flowing through us. That will be Sunday, August 28th at 6:30 p.m.

-How is your child doing? How are you doing with your child? John Rosemond can help you with "Parenting by the Book". That book is the Bible, and it works. Our child rearing seminar will be Saturday, September 24th. You need this if you have children, toddlers, babies, teens, or grandchildren. Registration is now open. See Kelly Rhodes for more information.

-Your giving continues to be wonderful. This Sunday, we are making a card reader available for your convenience. Because so many of you use debit cards rather than checks, you have asked about the possibility. All you need do is swipe your card, type in the amount of money you would like to give, and sign your name. No registration necessary. In moments, you will have given to your Lord and His church all using this wonderful technology.

Living in His luxury,

Pastor Trey Rhodes

Survival Gear

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There's not a man alive that doesn't like to watch Bear Grylls on Man vs. Wild. We like seeing him survive in the harshest of environments. There is something about the ability to live off the land even when there is nothing but a knife and a string to use so he can eat and drink for seven days with little or no support.

But that's not the reason Christ-followers need survival gear. We need gear to help us survive as aliens in an alien world. Here's what I'm talking about, God didn't save us and leave us the fend for ourselves. He gave us survival gear to help us make it through until we go and see Him in eternity. Actually, when we look forward to what Jesus has for us, it gives us the will to survive because we can't wait to see all that Heaven has in store for us.

So, what is available to help us survive? Looking at 1 Peter 1, we can see great tools custom designed for us.


Let's take out the first piece of our gear, Hope (1 Peter 1:3)
I love how the KJV uses the word "lively hope." It is not something in us that just has a pulse; it is moving and jumping around in us. That's lively.

The word hope is used in the Bible with the distinctive meaning “confident expectation.” It is knowing that God will keep His promises both in the here and the hear-after.

That is why King David proclaimed to His people and to us, "You are my hope, Lord God, my confidence from my youth." Psalm 71:5

The second piece of our gear, Salvation (1 Peter 1:4-5)
When we talk about salvation it is usually about what Jesus did for us when He saved us from our sin. But this is about what He has in store for us as well. No matter what kind of grief we get in what can be a hostile environment, we have the joy and glory of Heaven to look forward to.

As John the beloved was transported to heaven when writing the book of Revelation, he reported what he saw and experienced accurately and precisely. This is how he described our ultimate salvation:

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: The salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Messiah have now come Revelation 12:10

Although we are truly saved when we give our life to Jesus Christ, and although we experience the blessings of salvation every day, these are only the pledges of that glorious salvation to which we look forward in the Day of Christ.

The 3rd piece of Our Gear, Joy (1 Peter 1:6)

The two words greatly rejoice are one word in the original which conveys the idea of a strong, deep, supporting exultation. We can learn to live more positive, happy, and praise-filled lives in obedience to this commandment if we want to hear His “Well done” on that day. It is what we look forward to no matter how tough the day gets even if we feel unwanted when we're living for God.

The truth is, life is tough, and people can make it worse. But don't get despondent or in despair, no one can take our joy because we know what's waiting for us. That is why John wrote these memorable words:

So you also have sorrow now. But I will see you again. Your hearts will rejoice, and no one will rob you of your joy. John 16:22

The fourth and final piece of our survival gear is Genuineness (1 Peter 1:7)
There is nothing more attractive to a watching world than to see genuine believers. There is nothing that is more repulsive than hypocrisy. When we come through the struggles with joy and hope, knowing our salvation is closer now than it has ever been before (Romans 13:11), that we let the world see genuine faith. It is in our new DNA as Christ-followers. It is a beautiful thing when we demonstrate God Himself lives in us...for real. And we are being tested, constantly. Here's what the Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 8:8:

I am testing the genuineness of your love. 2 Corinthians 8:8

So, with your survival gear, you can get through the most spiritually barren stretches of land with no other believers in sight. That's why God gave us the gear. Use it this week.

Stayin' alive,

Pastor Trey Rhodes

Thinkin' 'bout Oceanside

• There is nothing better that seeing God's people mature and grow. I have seen so many of you grow up in your faith. Thank you for your faithful attendance and support during what could have been a very dry month. You have made a difference with your enthusiastic attitude and genuine sweet spirit. Staying connected to God in the summer gives the Holy Spirit the opportunity to impact you. He has done just that.
• Are you ready for a Block Party? It's coming to Seagull on the last weekend in August. We want to reach many for Christ as we have done before. Set aside this important weekend. as we prayer walk, visit, and invite those communities to be with us for a great time. Let's show them God's people love them and, we can have a good time too!
• Ever had trouble raising your children? Who hasn't? That's why Oceanside is gearing up for a parenting seminar. It's called Parenting by the Book and is taught by John Rosemond. 

How much?  For only $49.95 a couple ($29.95 for an individual), you will get 4 hours of instruction, the hardback book, Parenting by the Book, a free one month subscription to John Rosemond's web resources, and someone will receive a free basket with lots of good parenting stuff in it. As always, there are a few scholarships available. Registration is due September 18th. After that, you can still register, but the cost goes up to $59.95 and $34.95. 

Where and When? It takes place at Oceanside's ministry center on Saturday afternoon, September 24th.

See you there!

Unmoving

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Our perception of God drives the way we respond to God. For instance, if we think of God as a God of wrath that is ready to slam us, we will avoid him and try and undermine Him and His work in our life. But if we see God as our God of love and care and grace, then we will want to be with Him and hear from him and trust him. The good news is, we now know what God is like and He is like Jesus. God never changes. The Bible tells us "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Hebrews 13:8. He is the author of our belief and the sustainer of our belief. It is in Him that our faith is completed. He is the One whom we can boldly approach, the forgiver of our sins, the healer of our ills, and the One who saves us from eternal judgment that we so deserve. THIS IS OUR GOD!

Here's what we do (and I say we, because I mean me). We rely on:
1) Things - usually, this is money. Big mistake! Have you noticed what our money and investments are doing right now?

2) a Person - like a spouse or a good friend. What happens when they find someone else or move away or have other interests?

3) a Plan - like getting married, or getting a great job, or finishing our education. Have those plans ever changed for you?

The problem is that I truly expect these things to prop up my life, but they can't. Good plans are just not enough. It's not that our friend doesn't want to be there for us or that good things aren't, well, good. It's just that they can't do what we are asking of them. They change and falter and often disappoint. 

So, what do we do? We trust in the One who never changes. That means we:

• Trust God that your past is forgiven.

That's why the Bible assures us: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 (HCSB) You might be saying right now, but pastor, you have no idea what I've done in my life. I can't forget what I did. I committed adultery, disappointed my family, worshipped at the throne of the almighty dollar, and hurt the people I loved the most. Today, let's draw a line in the sand and say, with God's help I'm going to get past it. God has forgiven me and I have to accept His forgiveness.

• Trust God with your current difficulty

God wants to give you rest from the pounding you've been taking. Jesus reminds us, "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 (HCSB). Whatever is going on in your life right now, you need to give it to God. Honestly, you might not even see Him at work in your life, but He is there. Remember this: God is most powerfully PRESENT even when He seems to be most apparently ABSENT.


So here's what it comes down to, are you going to trust in God's identity or in God's activity. Trusting God's identity gives us stability. Trusting God's activity causes us anxiety. Today, decide to trust who God is, not what He does for you.

• Trust God with your future plans.

What would I do if I was absolutely confident that God was with me? With your life? Your marriage? Your dating life? Your finances? What would you do?

One of the greatest distractions for God's purpose in our life is for Satan to begin to to make us believe that God is not with us. Think about it, what could we do for God if we really understood that God is with us.

Why would that make such a difference in how we live and exist? Because our faith would not be molded and shaped by our circumstances, but by our identity that God is with us and He is faithful and trustworthy.

This understanding alone makes for great power when we choose to believe God is with us and we choose to be with Him. Over and over again the Bible communicates this though and to God's people. I am with you, will you choose to be with me? Will you?

Thinkin' 'bout Oceanside

Did you sense the presence of God this Sunday in church? Wow, I just didn't want that feeling to stop. The music, especially the invitation was overwhelming. I wish I could bottle the experience and save it for you. But I can't. Please don't miss what God has for you this Sunday. Oceanside is the best place to be any and every Sunday.

God has been faithful this summer. He has provided what we need in so many ways. I want to publicly thank you Lord for being there for us, for supplying our needs, and for sustaining us through what has been a tough time of the year. I trust You!

Lots of good things coming up for you to be involved in:

• Block party on Sunday night, August 28th. We are so good at this ministry that can't wait to see how God uses you! We'll have hot dogs, soft drinks, popcorn, and funnel cakes to eat. We want to have games and give-aways and a super slide for the kids. Any ideas you have would be greatly welcomed.
• Parenting by the book with John Rosemond teaching. We all could use help or a refresher in rearing our children and grandchildren. He's one of the best. Start planning now for this wonderful seminar on Saturday September 24th. Seating is limited. Scholarships are available.

See you this Sunday at Oceanside Church!

Because He is Faithful,
Pastor Trey Rhodes